At the Crossroads…


Julian and his football team mate. My son Julian is on the right.

Ever had that time in your life when so much is going on simultaneously that you don’t know what you’re missing until you run into it? Well here I am…..

I’ve been so focused on my son’s football activities (I’m talking an 8 yr old team that is run like the NFL), work responsibilities, non-profit board responsibilities, school room parent and chair responsibilities, and well the list keeps going. But on my birthday, it all came colliding together. and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the collision.

Amidst all of the above, two books have been literally POURING out of me through my fingers on the keyboard. I couldn’t even continue to focus on two so I prayed and chose 1. And I’m ready to submit my application to kickstarter to launch not just the book publishing, but the movement across this nation and around the world! Pretty heavy stuff eh?

Now throw in some nagging thoughts about not enough time to work out, doubts about whether I missed my true calling in life and other unsure thoughts about my career, and you get a recipe for a true mid-life crisis. Oh, did I mention that I’m going through menopause?! Just to add a little emotion and exaggerated mood swings to the mix.

Then my husband really threw me for a loop. He said I wasn’t a leader. Huh?!?!?! He went on to clarify that in his view, my leadership is a by-product when I’m doing what I’m really called to do. So “what is that?” I asked. He said that my true calling is inspiring and educating people. I had to stop on that one. In fact, that one put me in pause mode for about 4 days. I’m not a leader….hmmmm…. leadership is a by-product of who and what I am…..hmmmm….. I inspire and educate people… hmmm….. The man who threw me for a loop is above as well! LOL 

So my husband helped me to understand that the leadership abilities that I thought were my hallmark, were simply a by-product so to speak. Because leadership is a buzz word in the professional and corporate worlds, I latched on and rode the wave. And here I am now, wondering why I’m not comfortable with my current professional situation. While I love my company, they’ve already picked their leaders (defined as people to execute the growth the of the company) and apparently i’m not going to be one of them. So again, what do I do?

I prayed that God would give me a project to keep me focused on positive things until He sees fit to open the door for my next life adventure and guide me through it. So here I am, on the verge of launching my passion The MS Manifesto. We’ll see what happens!

Perhaps the crossroads aren’t a bad place to be…

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